I finally landed myself a job though I haven’t officially signed on the dotted line. I don’t wanna be naive and be excited about this job, forgetting that there are reality aspects to be considered such as politics, life of being a newbie in the company and many others.
It just takes one of these to happen before I snap back to realize that this is the working world after all. Basically I’m afraid of having too high an expectation. So much so that when I fall, even from a short height, it hurts real bad.
But I do hope that all these will be pushed aside knowing that I am going to do what I aim to do all these while. Let that be the platform for everything else and allow nature take its course throughout my working days.
Will it be my career? I can’t answer that till I am quite a while in the line. It’s the same for relationships - you can’t determine your future wife on your first date.
The thought brings me back to when I was young, when my mum asked me the atypical question of “what do you wanna be when you grow up”. I said “architect”. That’s so far away from where I will be standing next year. But its the voice within me that told me thread that path.
Similarly with regards to my dreams of going into local universities, I enrolled myself in a private one instead. Does it mean I’m worse off? Does it mean I’m incapable?
Sometimes you just gotta dismiss what society’s talking and block out every single unnecessary voice just to listen to your own. It is ironic given that you are closest to your own self yet the trust to one’s own being is being doubted by the very own rightful owner and easily rattled by others.
